I wasn’t happy at all, not the slightest.
I hated the fact I’m pretty portfolio-oriented. So much for all the craze to extend your Curriculum Vitae.
Who isn’t?
But I’m getting more and more neutral and feeling-less towards the awards I got. I could barely smile for the whole day. Though I used to be over the moon for every small award I obtained.
Journey 1
Biotech fair — I was happy when my group was awarded merit. How much could you expect of a chemistry project in a biology fair? After all, it was our 1st competition.
Projects Competition — High Distinction. But I thought it was an expected one.
Youth Science Conference — I couldn’t say much when we were awarded merit.
SSEF — The lie was that I’m happy and contented. The truth is that I was pretty much on the verge of tears on the spot.
So much for all the awards. I should be contented — my project isn’t anything super fanciful. Yet I made it as if I’m supposed to win every thing.
Journey 2
1st course in Diploma in IT (Visual Basic) — Grade A. I was super happy, and I was only in Sec 1 then.
Last course (E-Commerce) — Completed the modular project with a few days work. But more importantly, I completed the Diploma. I thought it was nothing much in the end.
I wanted to excel in computing since young. Yet I didn’t thought much about it after all.
Journey 3
There came the existence of something called OSA.
I mugged. I clocked the CIP hours. I did a project that is worth a High Distinction.
And I got it.
Conclusion
The title sounds so cliche.
I achieved what I “should” get, but I haven’t achieve anything I wanted to get.
I have not move anywhere near my real goals but I rejected all thoughts of doing another project for the sake of winning something that I don’t really want.
I know all the short term dreams I have, and very well.
I seriously think I can talk about these all day, but do nothing to salvage it in the end.
I’m tired of putting up a false front.
