Lost in Fantasia

I can’t explain how I really felt after reading the latest 2 blog posts on my beloved Google Reader.

I thought I remember telling myself earlier today: If so many others could stand strong, no matter how physically ill or young they were, why couldn’t I do the same?

I can do better. I shall do better. no matter what others say.

But is it all that hard to be done by me? Perhaps oscillations is harder bleh.

Its not like what I’ve written has any relevance to my 1st sentence. But I just needed to write it.

so I can get back to Physics.

No offence but if you read something that goes by “I don’t think my heart can take it anymore.” while reading a chapter you can’t understand for months, I seriously think you can’t continue.

I think I’m being too extra here.

Yesterday was meant to be a happy day.

Laughing at the cute bear, chatting with friends, not paying attention during lectures and such.

But I chose not to be. I was so mentally exhausted by the time I reached home.

Yet, today was meant to be a boring day.

But I chose to complete my EoM.

And I went to watch Hancock with Marvin and my OGL (Yes, this is my OG outing). Great idea but bad plot, turned out that Ironmen was better in these genre of superhero movies.

Maybe I’ll end off today with the last episode of Hana Yori Dango 1.

I may not be smiling and laughing as hard as how I was during the sabbaticals, but today was better, even if its just the slightest.

Like the (: article that Jon Tan showed me yesterday, happiness doesn’t hit you all at a time. It happens in small amounts. Its up to you to cherish it.

Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.

Maybe the path I dreamt of walking isn’t meant to be.

I’m glad I saw so much and been through thus far this year, but I can only reach this far with this path.

I’m going to hurt myself if I just continued.

Its time for a new path, after thinking through so much these few days.

3 more weeks, let’s make the best out of it.

The change has got to come from myself.

So should I choose the first, second or the fourth leaflet? (:

Aaron sometimes can’t understand himself

let alone trying to decipher the minds of others.

Sometimes he wonders whether he has put in too little effort

or he has put in too much.

Because balance isn’t an easy thing to attain

Its delicate, and it topples, like trying to place a book on a line of thread.

It’s been nearly half a year. So much as I looked forward to this year, nearly nothing turned out the way I thought it would be.

Maybe I’m just spoilt in the world where everything goes like the way I wanted.

I’m getting dysfunctional, and it’s something I really have not felt before.

I can’t focus on what I want to do now.

I’m sorry if I’m appearing dysfunctional.

Just when you thought everything goes like the way you perceive it to be,

Even when something insignificant crops up, you just didn’t feel right.

You grow to be possessive even without your own knowledge,

And that’s when you get yourself hurt more than it should.

Yet, when you realised you’ve misunderstood the whole matter,

You don’t know whether you should be feeling happy or sad about it.